Tales of A Perverted Dragon and His Talking, Orange Fox
by notreallyathinkeraye
Summary: What happens when a young, perverted Issei finds a cursing, blue eyed orange fox stealing his mother's underwear in broad daylight?


What happens when a young, perverted Issei finds a cursing, blue eyed orange fox stealing his mother's underwear in broad daylight?

 **Tales of A Perverted Dragon and His Talking, Orange Fox**

Issei was always known as a curious, young child.

His innocent eyes would always wander anywhere it could, ever since it was born. It was a sign that he thirsted for knowledge and, really, it was completely normal for a child to develop such a thing. They traced over the paintings that were held at museums, the words that appeared on a large, television screen-

You get the point. He was what any normal child, living in his sheltered and comfortable environment, should've been like. Somebody being raised by two, lovely parents that loved each other and their son to death. Food, clothes, and a roof over his head.

However, all would know that he'd grow up to be somebody... well, _normal_ if he stayed like this. Somebody who had a goal in life, who aimed to get a job when years passed. Find a girlfriend, have a great marriage, make children that he'd love for life. And, before all of this, study hard and become successful. Really, it was the dream of any logical minded person - to survive in this world.

Although, at this point, three year old Issei hadn't the time to think of such _mature_ things. He was content with what he had and, seeing as children his age usually didn't want much compared to greedy pigs that called themselves adults, he was seen as a bright and caring child. Somebody who had a bright future ahead of them.

Looking back, Issei would admit - at this age, he was a _tiny_ child. A grinning, laughing, jumping child, but a small one nonetheless. It made others think he was younger than he actually was, which lead him to small incidents such as this.

"Oh, you poor, missing child!"

While Issei somewhat knew the town at the back of his hand, he wasn't going to deny - he _was_ in a place that wasn't recognisable. He looked up and there was a very tall and pretty woman standing above him. At that time, her beauty was ingrained into his memory and he'd never forget that day.

She carried him, as she was the type to give physical contact, and cooed at him. He _was_ a cute baby, many would admit. "Oh, you're cute. Where's your mommy and daddy? Hmm?"

It was at this point that Issei was reminded of his parents. When he came to, he realised that he was actually nowhere _near_ his parents, and he had unknowingly wandered off without a care in a fit of curiosity. Really, a child's thing. At the thought of his parents leaving him, he started to tear up. Any infant would.

The woman's heart melted at the sight of his wet, crying eyes. She brought a hand to the boy's head and buried him in her oddly large breasts, rubbing his head. "There, there. We'll find them in no time, just you wait!"

When his face came into contact with the woman's breasts, he froze. A new sensation overcame his senses but it didn't feel like the fuzziness he got when he hugged his mother of fondled with his father's mustache. No. It was something much, much more...

 _Exciting_.

He attempted to wrap his arms around her more, wanting to feel this foreign feeling more. It sparked something. He ignored her soft words as he focused everything he had in the jolts of pleasure he was receiving.

This was the first time he had awakened his sleeping own, dragon.

 **Tales of A Perverted Dragon and His Talking, Orange Fox**

" **That's just gross.** "

Naruto choked on his ramen. He then proceeded to send a glare at the massive demon that looked somewhat bored. "It's by far one of the best foods you could ever eat and you have the audacity to call it _gross_? What are you, some kind of demon?!"

" **Hit the nail on the head with that one.** " Kurama said with a sarcastic snort before he looked down at his blond haired jailer. " **And how in the seven gates of hell did you know the word 'audacity'?** "

"Madara."

" **Ah.** "

"Anyways, we're not finished talking yet!" Naruto slurped up yet another mouthful of noodles before he pointed his wooden chopsticks at the nine tailed fox. "You, calling ramen gross? Only people with _terrible_ standards would call such food with a word so poorly thought of!"

The Kyuubi sighed, bringing a hand to his head before resting the palm on his face. Since when could this idiot speak in such a dramatic fashion? Maybe the perverted frog had something to do with this, with all of that _epicness_ and such. Ugh. It made him puke. " **You're overreacting. That** _ **ramen**_ **of yours was on the floor, spilled in a** _ **sewer**_ **of all things.** _ **A sewer**_ **. And you willingly pick it all up before putting that into your mouth?** "

"I do anything for the ones I care for!"

" **Don't say that with a noodle dangling from your mouth!** " Kurama roared, the waters creating small ripples across the rather large room. " **Before I was caught by the likes of your kind, even I had standards with the safety of the food I ate!** "

Naruto blinked at that, tilting his head to the side. "Aren't you just a demon and not some sort of animal that actually needs to eat?"

" **You can blame Ojii-san for that one.** "

"Ah."

His fox ears twitched in boredom. " **Why don't you wake up the body right now?** **You know that if we let the body die, we die too, right?** "

Naruto looked at him blankly with his eyes screaming 'please don't let me do this, I beg of you'. "Please don't let me do this, I beg of you."

" **You have the gift of saying** _ **exactly**_ **what you're thinking.** " At this, the huge demon sighed. " **And remember the last time I took over the body?** "

Before he could say 'reshape the world with your non-existent truth seeking balls', Naruto quickly plopped his rear onto the floor of the sewer and quickly meditated as hard as he could. Before long, it was obvious that he was in a state where he couldn't hear anybody, no matter how hard he somebody slapped him across the face.

That was a very tempting thing to do on Kurama's case, but he resisted. There were better things to do than blast a fully powered Tailed Beast Bomb at his container's face with a smug grin on his face.

...

His red eyes looked at the boy blankly.

Or was there?

Before he could say anything, however, his eyes were now filled with sights of a different place. A place full of forests and greenery, where life existed. Somewhere he, as a demon, would call paradise.

However, despite the nice looking scenery, Kurama snorted.

" **This sucks.** "

 **Tales of A Perverted Dragon and His Talking, Orange Fox**

At the age of six, it seemed as if life was going swimmingly for one little Issei. Whenever he saw any women that suggested even the slightest of things, he'd gape at her and wonder why his chest would feel tight (and something else would feel tight, too). He just _knew_ that something awakened when he talked to that woman three years ago, and he was currently indulging in that new sensation right now.

 _He loved it_.

He was still viewed as an innocent child, people still saw him as somebody who knew nothing of the world around him. A pure hearted boy that knew nothing more than to whine, cry and beg for more candy whenever his tummy went rumble rumble.

Oh, how were they _wrong_.

Issei quickly realised that this new found _hobby_ of his was weird for his age. He talked to a few of his friends, which they all quickly looked at him weirdly before telling their parents that 'Issei is acting weird', which then lead him to being called a 'problematic child' courtesy of a few complaints from anonymous adults.

Being called problematic felt weird. It felt wrong. Being called weird and feeling wrong at the same time felt bad. Issei understood that sometimes, going for what he felt was right was the right choice to do. When he buried his face into that woman's breasts for the first time, it felt good, so he was all for it. However, since he felt wrong about this whole situation, he decided to take action.

He didn't speak about this at all with his friends ever again, though when the occasional pretty woman walked past, he'd secretly sneak peeks at them when he walked past. When he went to talk to his parents about this new found feeling, he made his parents slightly confused by the statement. He _was_ their first and only child, after all, so it was only natural that they'd be hesitant of what they'd say. Though the matter was blown off with ease when his father laughed and said 'it's just boys growing up'.

It seems that even if he had to do this hobby in secret, it was rewarding in some way. He'd get somewhat excited whenever he saw a woman's body while harming nobody hurting nobody's feelings. It was a win-win situation for him.

Of course, he didn't think of the situation like _that_. He simply continued whatever he did and since nobody has spoken up about him doing his thing in secret, he kept doing it. It was as simple as that.

He'd have to enjoy this life as much as he could, for little did he know, yet another dragon was to awaken inside of him, and this time, it _wasn't_ his pen-

" _Hehehehehe_."

Perhaps he was enjoying this a bit too much for a six year old.

 **Tales of A Perverted Dragon and His Talking, Orange Fox**

'Isn't _this_ how you skin a rabbit?'

" **No, that's not it! You rip off the fur,** _ **then**_ **bite into the bastard like there's no tomorrow!** "

'Kurama, I think you're getting a bit _too_ worked up over a rabbit. I mean, this thing's dead! I don't think he'll be leaving any time soo-'

" **EAT HIM ALREADY!** "

"SHUT YER F*CKING TRAP!"

Naruto had yelled this at the top of his lungs at this point, with his body moving from a meditation position to straight standing with clenched fists raised, his breathing ragged. His eyes looked fiercely into Kurama's, whose eyes were clearly in a sort of 'predator' mode. "I, frankly, don't _care_ about how we eat this damned thing, as long as we get some sort of food into this stupid body! _We need food!_ "

Kurama had his switch from murderous to confused- " **Since when did** _ **you**_ **swear?!** " -before they promptly switched back. " **And EAT THE F*CKING THING ALREADY! YOU'RE MAKING ME HUNGRY!** "

"Stop shouting, you nine tailed fox! Let me get to back to my damned meditation before the rabbit leaves!" Naruto hissed.

The orange fox snorted, throwing his arms into the air as he then tried his best to ignore the rising hunger in his stomach. " **Fine! Eat it however** _ **you**_ **want, you dumb human!** "

"Maybe I will!"

" **You better!** "

Clicking his teeth at the lack of cooperation they were both showing, the blonde haired jinchuuriki sat down and closed his eyes. He waited for a few more moments before he felt the air around him gently brush against his fur. As he opened his eyes, he let it rest on the world around him.

It was green, like before, but he was in a clearing. The sun shone, indicating that it currently day. It glistened against the soft, green grass and highlighted the trees that swayed with the morning breeze.

He then looked down underneath his paw and saw nothing but flowers.

...

'You've _got_ to be kidding me.'

Kurama sighed.

" **I'm going to** _ **murder**_ **that b*tch for fusing our bodies together.** "

Naruto's eyes were dull. 'At least we agree on something.'

" **I still resent you.** "

' _F*ck_ you.'

 **Tales of A Perverted Dragon and His Talking, Orange Fox**

A certain brown haired kid was giggling away in a most odd way, flipping a book over and over as his eyes studied every word and letter it produced in the weirdest forms of enthusiasm known to man. The story that it told, as it unfolded into what he was currently reading... it was _paradise_.

"Maybe I shouldn't read this' was what indeed sometimes ran through the young kid's mind, but whenever he indulged himself in his beautiful hobbies, he could do nothing but drool and think of nothing but _this_ the whole time.

Did he hate that small feeling that made him question his ways? Kind of. Did he think he should stop? Maybe.

Did he regret anything?

 _Hell_ no.

His parents were away on a date together and seeing as how Issei was doing good in both his school and attitude, they decided to leave him alone for a bit and give themselves a little bit of space alone. Any other parent would think this would be a terrible idea, but it seemed that Issei's parents held a little less common sense than others would normally hold.

Of course, he was _completely_ fine with this. In fact, he was so fine with this, he was on the couch in _the living room_ with his tiny legs kicking about in a fit of joy at the very thought of using the _whole house_ as his abode for more than questionable activities. A haven for all his goods.

However, that all stopped when he heard something fall down. His head snapped to where the sound came from, and he found himself looking towards the doorway that lead to outside of the house. Since he's never encountered any strangers in his house, the thought of somebody stealing never passed by his head and his curiosity got the better of him.

He was curiosity incarnate. What could he do about it? He let his body lead him towards the source of the noise, sliding the glass door open as he looked right, clutching his beloved book in his left hand.

 **Tales of A Perverted Dragon and His Talking, Orange Fox**

" **What are you doing?!** "

'Shut up! I _need_ this!'

" **What the hell for?! For your** _ **stress relief?!**_ "

'Proof that there's human civilization here!'

" **Wha- WHY THE F*CK WOULD YOU NEED SOMETHING LIKE** _ **THIS**_ **AS YOUR PROOF OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION?!** _ **WHO'S THE PROOF FOR ANYWAY?!**_ "

'Look, Kurama, I'm just holding onto this as a reminder that humans can achieve peace in a different world. We'll be back into the wilds before we know it.'

" **Bring something else, than! Something else but** _ **this**_ **!** "

'What do you want me to bring?! That huge metal thing that this sh*tty body can't hold for it's life?!'

" **Well, it's better than- oh sh*t, someone's here!** "

'Fu-'

 **Tales of A Perverted Dragon and His Talking, Orange Fox**

Issei blinked. Once, then twice.

In his eight years of his life, he's seen some things. Not enough to be called mature, but not too little to be called somebody who didn't know what the alphabet was. However, no matter how many lifetimes passed, he didn't think he'd ever witness something like _this_ in twenty generations.

His eight year old eyes laid on a small, orange fox that was trying to jump over the fence with his mother's panties in its mouth, without any sort of success. As soon as he set his eyes on the fox, it froze seemingly in mid air, hitting the ground in a frozen position.

The fox turned around, and showed the boy it's blue eyes. It dropped the panties and opened its mouth.

" **F*cking. Sh*t.** "

Never had little Issei been more confused in his human life.

* * *

 **Tales of a Perverted Dragon and His Talking, Orange Fox  
** Prologue  
 _End_.

* * *

 **AN** : Another story. F*ck.

In all honesty, I've seen this story been done before in this exact category of crossovers and I've gotta say, I liked it. I liked it enough to make another one with my own twist to it, which if you _can't_ see the differences between this story and the original one, you'll see soon enough.

Minds can be fickle things, and mine's no exception. Although, I have a feeling that doesn't explain the unfinished stories on my profile. Really sorry about that. I'm more of a creator and a reader rather than a dedicated writer, and I just like spouting out ideas without thinking about it's future at all. Sucks, I know.

Well. Review or message me if you're curious about this story, and I'll try my best not to spoil it if need be.

Thanks for reading!

 **Not-aThinker14.**


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